If you want to read about wedding photography, then this post probably isn’t for you. Yes, I know you’re on the website for a Staffordshire wedding photographer and that’s what I am, amongst other things, I’m also a daughter. So this post is more of a personal one, rather than give you tips on how to get the best wedding photos or telling you about the kind of natural photos I take, I’m going to write a bit about how my life was turned upside down just over ten weeks ago.
I wasn’t sure and I’m still not sure how to find the words to even start. Having to write blogs is the thing I find hardest at the best of times, to try and do it whilst holding back tears and struggling, still, to comprehend what has happened, is even harder.
On Friday April 6th my Dad died.
He went into hospital the day before and never came out. It came as a massive shock and all happened really quickly, even though that Friday felt like the longest day ever. I stood next to his bed in intensive care and watched his life slip away.
Seeing those words in black and white brings back the biggest amount of hurt and pain, that every day I try not to let consume me. Feelings like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. The one person that has been there all my life, isn’t there anymore and I’m still not sure I’ve quite got my head around it.
My emotions are all over the place and there is a high chance I will now cry at anything, at anytime…. (…including your wedding, you have been warned! I apologise in advance.)
The reason I’m trying to find the words for this is because today is Fathers day. I just wanted to do something to recognise that.
A couple of weeks ago, on a day that my Dad should have been leading a walk, the group he used to organise these walks for, did one in his memory. – Before the day (something which is now a familiar and at times, overwhelming feeling,) I wasn’t sure whether to go or even if I could get through it. So I took my camera and resorted to what I know best, taking pictures and documenting the day – a day which will hopefully be repeated again next year.
Many times I had the ‘discussion’ with my Dad about work and jobs. He was very academic, went to uni, got a good job that was pretty well paid and worked hard. He wanted me to go the same route and at times we fell out about it. I didn’t go to uni, I’m not academic and I’ve never had a well paid job but I’ve been very lucky to do jobs that I love and therefore I’ve still always been happy. Photography was something of a shared passion for us both and now I’m sat here making a living from it. – Something I’m really proud that he got to see. In the last couple of years he had come round to my way of thinking and actually said I had done things right – something I never thought I would hear him say!
To end on a positive so thought I’d share a couple of his things; Accelerate out of a corner; if you are travelling in a car with a grab handle, use it; if you get off the last bus home, it’s sensible to stay where you are, or even better still, stay on the bus. – Paul Hunt 21.07.54 – 06.04.18